i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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