Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
