he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
