your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
