I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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