I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
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