do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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