GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
