My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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