it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize