Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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