i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
