Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
