I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
