it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
