Quick, to the slutcave!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize