In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i was born a porn star she said
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
