Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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