Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize