Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
