his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize