p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize