Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
