jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
