About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
