Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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