The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm just crazy horny about you
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
