I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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