I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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