I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
