To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
