There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
