There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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