But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
