ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
