I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
