Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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