Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
