Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
