Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
