It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
