You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
