Where is the hickey?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
My ATM looks so different sober.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize