I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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