Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
