I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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