I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
