Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
