We won't sleep together?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
