Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize