I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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