that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize