her facebook's as public as her vagina
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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