doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize