I didn't shave. On purpose
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
