His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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