We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
