and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
