If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
