Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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