It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
