This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Farmville is her only friend.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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