i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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